did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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