I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
