also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
