what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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