Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just want nice things and good sex
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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