I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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