Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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