My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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