So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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