roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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