you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
