I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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