I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
last night I used snow as a chaser
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