Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
