You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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