fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
