oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
