its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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