I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
