sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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