You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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