Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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