Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
