Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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