I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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