the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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