either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
