my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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