WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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