We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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