I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
