No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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