I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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