oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
