thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
