just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
