HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Bring me that man meat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
