I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
