shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The cops high fived after they tackled you
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
