It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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