I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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