lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
