Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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