when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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