just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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