you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
