I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
