I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize