Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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