That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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