I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
