They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
