i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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