Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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