He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
