Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
