How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
