i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
