I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
