your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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