My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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