i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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