the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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